I just got your book in the Nomad Bookshop in London, thank you so much for writing this book. You drove me to tears in your introduction chapter alone, as someone who’s a mother of 2 young children, having my heritage language in Cantonese but growing up in Mandarin, although my working/reading language has been English since almost 20 years, and we live in Germany. So there are a lot of confusions and guilts in choosing what language I use around my children.
What a beautiful message to find here. Thank you so much for the kind words and for the support (Nomad Bookshop is the best!) I was so hoping I could offer a bit of comfort to other caregivers in a way I needed it and still do every day with my children with this book and it truly makes me beyond happy and proud to hear all this. Thank you for finding me here and for reaching out, it really does make it all worth it. And keep going in whatever way works best for you and your family (I know, easier said than done). I am trying to let go of some of the guilt but it creeps in often.
I finished The Cook by Maylis de Kerangal last night and loved it. It's a small book, but written with precise details and is on the topic of cooking and food, which I love. Similarly spare (and somewhat food centric) was The Lovers, a Novel by Paulo Luczkiw, which I also read quickly and found romantic.
I also loved Braiding Sweetgrass and picked up Gathering Moss this summer, but am making my way through it a bit more slowly. Im finding the need for some lighter material also - writing that is simple, beautiful, romantic in its descriptions and in what it leaves out, which I thought both The Cook and The Lovers did really well.
I just got your book from the UK Amazon, even though I’m in the USA. So that’s on my book stand, along with other books related to pregnancy and parenting.
Ola! Thank you so so much, I am so thrilled you love it. I really appreciate your support and notes like these make me so happy. And thank you for making the effort to order from UK (I am sorry it's been so complicated, publishing rights are sometimes very complicated I have learnt from this experience!)
Would love to discuss anytime! I always love how readers interpret books/passages so differently as well. I referenced Poetics of Space years ago in an article about moving from Canada to London and how I needed "more" space from a world I was so familiar with so I chose a place where essentially there is so little space as compared with Canada. But I find Bachelard's writing can be interpreted in so many ways and for me the idea of space and language, especially when it comes to a "home language" in the literal space of a home echoes so many of his ideas. I am also super interested in embodiment for a new project and Bachelard's phenomenology of architecture but I also get lost a bit in all the philosophical musings haha. I can't wait for your book and see how it all comes together as well. I hope it is going very well and let me know what you think of Poetics. (I am hoping your copy of MTT should be with you soon.)
Right now, Maternal Encounters and A Life's Work, so, more motherhood books. Just finished Nunez's the Vulnerables and BoyMom. Borrowed a couple years worth of best american poetry by curiosity. Also Chapman's Audacity and Dead in Long Beach, California.
I'll be honest, Boymom has a ton of problems. I was really taken aback by the descriptions of boys from the memoir part - it reinforces stereotypical descriptions, and is bewildering to me, who has a very active toddler, how negatively children being physical and not wanting to always fit into sitting adult worlds are depicted. It's good at covering a lot of ground, and I agree with the core argument about having to make conscious parenting choices to support boys' emotional lives, but it's received less critically than it should be.
I did read a similar review about how problematic it was but only one. Negative depiction of children being physical does not sit well with me! One of the many reasons my children are not in the mainstream education system in the UK in fact. As someone who has both a boy and a girl, I also find it baffling although of course not surprising how incredibly gendered everything still is and yet, my children are so similar in many ways and so different in ways that does not fit into their respective gender stereotypes.
Yeah, she tries to highlight that too, but there’s so much of “my boys don’t want to sit while I’m at a restaurant with my friend who doesn’t have this problem with her girls”. Her sons are eventually diagnosed with adhd and medicated, which is taken as a pure medical issue. There’s a bit about how “she tries to resolve issues with education but is failing so there must be something biological going on”. It makes us vulnerable to talk about parenting, so I’m trying to put myself in her shoes, but I’m really confused where she heard that bad stuff on boys before their birth - i don’t seem to live in such a gendered world. Anyway, add to that the size of gendered differences highlighted by studies isn’t discussed (understandable), the memoir/childhood part has problems. The part around consent and sex was interesting but also where’s multi gender pov would have been more useful.
I will have a look and report back but so appreciate these thoughts, so interesting and I agree, it absolutely makes us vulnerable so we have to come at it a certain way and be open to the writing but at the same time, it is important to be critical of assumptions and stereotypes. Thank you for the fascinating discussion!
Absolutely! I was so hoping to see Robin speak last month as she was in London for an event at Kew Gardens but it was my son's birthday so I couldn't make it. Next time hopefully. I did ask her to blurb MTT but her very kind assistant said she just did not have the time to blurb books anymore - totally understandable! I was just thrilled they got back to me ha!
I just got your book in the Nomad Bookshop in London, thank you so much for writing this book. You drove me to tears in your introduction chapter alone, as someone who’s a mother of 2 young children, having my heritage language in Cantonese but growing up in Mandarin, although my working/reading language has been English since almost 20 years, and we live in Germany. So there are a lot of confusions and guilts in choosing what language I use around my children.
What a beautiful message to find here. Thank you so much for the kind words and for the support (Nomad Bookshop is the best!) I was so hoping I could offer a bit of comfort to other caregivers in a way I needed it and still do every day with my children with this book and it truly makes me beyond happy and proud to hear all this. Thank you for finding me here and for reaching out, it really does make it all worth it. And keep going in whatever way works best for you and your family (I know, easier said than done). I am trying to let go of some of the guilt but it creeps in often.
I finished The Cook by Maylis de Kerangal last night and loved it. It's a small book, but written with precise details and is on the topic of cooking and food, which I love. Similarly spare (and somewhat food centric) was The Lovers, a Novel by Paulo Luczkiw, which I also read quickly and found romantic.
I also loved Braiding Sweetgrass and picked up Gathering Moss this summer, but am making my way through it a bit more slowly. Im finding the need for some lighter material also - writing that is simple, beautiful, romantic in its descriptions and in what it leaves out, which I thought both The Cook and The Lovers did really well.
Thank you for sharing! I am going to look these two books up, love a good recommendation.
I just got your book from the UK Amazon, even though I’m in the USA. So that’s on my book stand, along with other books related to pregnancy and parenting.
I did my PhD in English/ Second Language Studies in the USA and I’m from Poland so I don’t have to tell you how much I love every part of it! :)
Ola! Thank you so so much, I am so thrilled you love it. I really appreciate your support and notes like these make me so happy. And thank you for making the effort to order from UK (I am sorry it's been so complicated, publishing rights are sometimes very complicated I have learnt from this experience!)
I would love to hear allll your thoughts on Poetics of Space! On so many of these really... xo
Would love to discuss anytime! I always love how readers interpret books/passages so differently as well. I referenced Poetics of Space years ago in an article about moving from Canada to London and how I needed "more" space from a world I was so familiar with so I chose a place where essentially there is so little space as compared with Canada. But I find Bachelard's writing can be interpreted in so many ways and for me the idea of space and language, especially when it comes to a "home language" in the literal space of a home echoes so many of his ideas. I am also super interested in embodiment for a new project and Bachelard's phenomenology of architecture but I also get lost a bit in all the philosophical musings haha. I can't wait for your book and see how it all comes together as well. I hope it is going very well and let me know what you think of Poetics. (I am hoping your copy of MTT should be with you soon.)
Right now, Maternal Encounters and A Life's Work, so, more motherhood books. Just finished Nunez's the Vulnerables and BoyMom. Borrowed a couple years worth of best american poetry by curiosity. Also Chapman's Audacity and Dead in Long Beach, California.
Have heard so much about Boymom. Thanks for sharing, going to check these out. I find Baraitser's work so interesting, especially Maternal Encounters!
I'll be honest, Boymom has a ton of problems. I was really taken aback by the descriptions of boys from the memoir part - it reinforces stereotypical descriptions, and is bewildering to me, who has a very active toddler, how negatively children being physical and not wanting to always fit into sitting adult worlds are depicted. It's good at covering a lot of ground, and I agree with the core argument about having to make conscious parenting choices to support boys' emotional lives, but it's received less critically than it should be.
Thank you for letting me articulate properly what has been bothering me! I was so looking forward to that book.
I did read a similar review about how problematic it was but only one. Negative depiction of children being physical does not sit well with me! One of the many reasons my children are not in the mainstream education system in the UK in fact. As someone who has both a boy and a girl, I also find it baffling although of course not surprising how incredibly gendered everything still is and yet, my children are so similar in many ways and so different in ways that does not fit into their respective gender stereotypes.
Yeah, she tries to highlight that too, but there’s so much of “my boys don’t want to sit while I’m at a restaurant with my friend who doesn’t have this problem with her girls”. Her sons are eventually diagnosed with adhd and medicated, which is taken as a pure medical issue. There’s a bit about how “she tries to resolve issues with education but is failing so there must be something biological going on”. It makes us vulnerable to talk about parenting, so I’m trying to put myself in her shoes, but I’m really confused where she heard that bad stuff on boys before their birth - i don’t seem to live in such a gendered world. Anyway, add to that the size of gendered differences highlighted by studies isn’t discussed (understandable), the memoir/childhood part has problems. The part around consent and sex was interesting but also where’s multi gender pov would have been more useful.
I will have a look and report back but so appreciate these thoughts, so interesting and I agree, it absolutely makes us vulnerable so we have to come at it a certain way and be open to the writing but at the same time, it is important to be critical of assumptions and stereotypes. Thank you for the fascinating discussion!
Rachel Cusk though. That’s such a great book. Looooved Braiding Sweetgrass.
Absolutely! I was so hoping to see Robin speak last month as she was in London for an event at Kew Gardens but it was my son's birthday so I couldn't make it. Next time hopefully. I did ask her to blurb MTT but her very kind assistant said she just did not have the time to blurb books anymore - totally understandable! I was just thrilled they got back to me ha!