Book Talk in Oxford
Come for the history, stay for the book: Behind-the-scenes from a wonderful day & a poignant audience question about cultural identity
I am on a high this morning from an amazing day in Oxford yesterday and a book event at a beautiful and charming bookstore in East Oxford called Caper. And when I say charming, this bookshop, owned by a wonderful young couple who lives in the neighbourhood, has a mini fridge filled with books, a Narnia-inspired walk-in wardrobe, paper bird books, a magical tiny bed and most importantly, an excellent selection of books for children and grown-ups.
It was my first time in Oxford and it all felt magical and charming (am I overusing those words? Probably but it’s OK). I was soaking it all in second by second, spending time with wonderful friends, eating, walking and then, book chatting. I am devastated the day and the event are over so here I am, reliving it for you but also, sharing some of the themes that came up in the Q&A during the event because people ask excellent questions and I could not stop thinking about some of the comments and discussions we had.
I had the pleasure of being interviewed by Cate Hamilton who is a Doctoral Teaching Fellow, author, co-founder of Babel Babies and host of The Language Revolution podcast. I interviewed Cate last year for the book about her research on multilingualism, education and music but this was our first time meeting in real life. We talked about how the book came to be, where memoir and research begins and ends and the balance of both, the societal pressures on mothers raising multilingual children, linguistic diversity but also inequality and so much more. After the talk and reading, the amazing audience asked some questions and shared stories about their experiences with not only raising multilingual children but other experiences around language and linguistic identity.
One young woman talked about her experience working in nurseries where she said often, the caregivers considered a child’s multilingualism, especially if that child spoke a different language other than English in the home as a “barrier”. She asked me what I would say to those people working with children who thought multilingualism was a barrier. I responded the only way forward is to bring more awareness to the subject but especially to offer all caregivers looking after children more support, more resources and definitely more pay!
Another woman shared her experience working with immigrant mothers in the 1980s whose children became dominant in English and would correct their moms or make comments about the way the mothers pronounced certain English words leading to a tense situation between parent and child and a loss of an emotional connection. The children felt their heritage language, the language of their mother had no value in their new English-dominant worlds. That notion of a language not having value in any context is always so hard to hear. When she said those words, it was a stark reminder of how certain languages are still, 40 years later perceived as more valuable and how some people are allowed to be bilingual while others are judged, criticized and condemned for their bilingualism. In some ways, it is even worse today as we have social media where children of immigrants create content around ridiculing their parents’ first language.
And finally, or should I say, firstly since it was the first question but one I had no straightforward answer for, an audience member asked me whether it is ever too late not for multilingualism, but for multiculturalism. If her child is approaching 10, 11 years old, how does she create a sense of importance around a culture and around traditions and how does she make sure the child feels that culture and those traditions are a part of them rather than something that resembles more of a tourist relationship.
I’ve thought a lot about this question since last night and the thing I come back to is we can only do so much as caregivers trying to impart or encourage a language, a culture, or really anything in our children’s lives. This applies to all caregiving and not only multilingual or multicultural caregiving. I do believe it is never too late but our childhoods are not our children’s childhoods, our heritage, linguistic and cultural upbringings will not necessarily be the same as our children’s especially if we now live elsewhere or have partners from vastly different backgrounds than our own. It is a hard thing to accept because we do all want our children to have something of us in them, and most importantly a sense of belonging. The beauty of it is often, children find their way back, again, or anew to the places, languages, cultures and traditions we want for them when we least expect it. When it happens, those are the moments I cherish and hope for more in the future.
Thank you to my amazing friends who came with me to Oxford for the best day I could ask for, the wonderful staff and owners of Caper Bookshop, Cate for a brilliant interview & everyone who came last night for all your support, it means more than you can imagine in my life right now!
Wonderful to read about the magical time you had in Oxford and also about the very important and topical questions that were asked.. some of which fill me with sadness that not all languages and indeed cultures are deemed equally important. Thank you for your awareness and gentleness in dealing with these topics and building bridges…